I finally had my first night out alone since she was born last June 2011 (my first night out without my husband or Cubby). This isn’t because I could never go out prior to now, it’s partly because she won’t take the bottle and I was worried she wouldn’t eat if I went out. Also, partly because I confess that I have control issues and was afraid that my husband may not watch her like I do and keep to the schedule that I have set for feeding/sleeping etc. (He’s pretty easy going and laid back as exhibited by: “Oh, was I supposed to change her diaper when you are gone?”).
Let me just tell you, I felt like I was going to the prom. For the past month, I’ve been telling people that I have a bachlorette to go to. I’ve been mentally and physically preparing. I bought a new outfit as the theme was Moulin Rouge (black and red) and the girls organizing it said to “dress sexy”. Dress sexy?? Hmm… does that word even exist in my vocabulary any more? You mean sweatpants and a stained t-shirt aren’t sexy? Or spit up on my Aritzia sweatshirt isn’t sexy? LOL! I had tried on any possible combinations of outfits that I had in my closet and done a fashion show for my husband. He was laughing hysterically! Partly because I was trying to squeeze my extra 10 lbs into my old “clubbing clothes” that just don’t stretch that way and partly because my definition of SEXY has really changed. He kept telling me that I look like a mom. I kept saying, that’s because I am a mom! Although I didn’t want to spend any money, I bought a red mini skirt, which I felt really silly wearing. I put on that outfit for him and he said that it was acceptable. Hmm, just acceptable? Not the “sexy” I was looking for, but it would have to do.
I went to bed early on Friday night and mentally prepared for a night out. I woke up early on Saturday and ran a bunch of errands making sure that Cubby was eating her meals and napping properly. I was getting anxiety just thinking about being away for 9 hours (most of those would be when she was sleeping). I got home, got ready and my husband dropped me at around 6 pm.
I walked into the house where we were starting the bachlorette and the girls were all dressed in their black and red looking cute and sexy. I still felt a little silly, like I was trying too hard in my red mini skirt! I took off my jacket at the door and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror; I didn’t look too bad. In fact I looked pretty good. I smiled at myself and thought “you go, hot Mama!” and went into mingle with everyone.
I hadn’t planned on drinking too much. Two drinks is what I had thought that a responsible new mom should have if she is breastfeeding. That quickly went out of the window. I was feeling kind of awkward at first and out of the “downtown clubbing” loop. I had no clue what we were doing or where we were going, but I was excited and nervous to be out of the house.
I had an amazingly fun filled night and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was proud of myself for lasting until the end. I had called home twice and Cubby had taken the bottle and had been sleeping well. All was good on the home front and I was not needed. I ended up getting home by 3 am, which turned into 4 am with the time change. I mustered 3 hours of sleep before Cubby awoke in the morning (which was brutal!) The repercussions of my night out was no sleep and having to deal with Cubby in the morning and go to a bridal shower. Needless to say, I slept like a log last night.
I don’t think I will be planning a late night out anytime soon, but I have a night full of fun filled memories to keep me going for a while!